Saturday, December 31, 2011

It is official

My best friend is moving here!!!!!!!! Her hubby comes in two weeks and she will follow two weeks later. He will be staying with us first to get a place and such before she arrives. I am so excited for them too. It is a huge jump but a great opportunity for them.

Funny how ten years ago my hubby and I moved here from southern il and she helped us pack up and now they are headed here. Kind of neat I think.

Kids go to school next week so hopefully I can sit and post a little then. Last week was really hard. U had the scariest ultrasound I have had to date and got stuck at dr office alone with kids getting the NST done. That was hard too because they kept losing baby's hb. Will post more on it later. Need a nap now while everyone is out.

A pic from the holidays :

Friday, December 23, 2011

28 weeks!

I really should get a belly shot. A friend of mine has offered to do some for me. I just need to take her up on it. I know this is my last pregnancy and I have no real belly shots from the other 3. But, I feel like a swollen mass of blubber.

I swear even my doctor was a butt about it the other day. This man has known me for gosh almost 7 years now and this is my 3rd child he has delivered. It blows my mind that he who was during the whole time I have known him until recently a good 300 lbs had made a comment to me...  When I first started going there I was probably 110 lbs. Now a lot more but my health has been a disaster. Anyway... I was put on this stupid gestational diabetes diet and have lost a few lbs. He first griped at me about that. Then said But well lets face it you are no Kate Middleton anyway.. WTF?? REALLY jerko???  I was with my kids so I kept quiet. But I am a little peeved. That and the other perinatologist and his comments last appointment. I want new doctors.. too bad I am too "high risk" and no one wants me. lol

So at 28 weeks I am ready for this to be over. I know don't wish it away but I am miserable. I can barely walk let alone get anything accomplished. The barely walking is because of pain and lack of pain meds. I have been trying not to take them and I am miserable. The cold weather and rain has definitely made it worse. I am unable to sleep, sit,stand comfortably. It is so weird I feel like the baby is literally going to drop out any minute. I know I felt this way with the others but not this early. Makes me wonder how far this pregnancy will make it.. I also am having issues stabilizing my blood sugar. I fear the insulin is going to happen. :( :(

I am going to look into some good pregnancy support pillows. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I need something. I have tried many of the pillows I have at home for help and no luck. I have real feather pillows, imitation allergen free feather pillows, soft, fluffy,foam. hard etc.  I use the original boppy for sitting up to help with pain. I actually use a couple of them. I love the support from them. Just they are not comfy to sleep with.

Done with my complaints! :)

Baby is moving lots and that is fun. No idea what his name will be yet. We are leaning towards Timothy Andrew or Timothy Richard. But, It is very possible that will change. :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

My Childhood BFF

                                          Above is Brian, Me,  & Tierra holding my little Hannah Bug.

I can't even tell you all of the memories that we have together. We spent so much time together that it would take days to even touch some of it. :) In short she was the sister I never had.. 

I will never forget how awful I felt when her mother passed away. Someone that I loved was hurting and I was unable to go because I was pregnant with Mason and it was a bad bad bad pregnancy. I was on bed rest and in and out of the hospital.   She is sort of in my position now of no family as it is her in IL now. She has two brothers but one she is not close with and the other is far away and stays busy with his work.  She is married to an AWESOME guy named Patrick.  

In short I have missed her sooo much. My kids love them and have enjoyed the visits we have had this year with them. But we definitely are excited that they are likely moving here. My hubby has a job open and they are pretty sure it is Patrick's. I am so excited. It would be in the same building as my husband so it is close to our house. This means that if it all works out my best friend will be moving here in my town and I will get to see her again. My kids can have an aunt and uncle here instead of always asking why they don't have one. 

I cant even explain how excited I am.  My kids  are too. I think Tierra and Patrick are thrilled too. I honestly never thought I would get them here. But I am so thankful that it is all coming together. I am praying that it continues to work out and they get to come and we can have a sort of family here. I know that may sound silly. But I miss her! We used to do all of our holidays together when we were young. So this will just be amazing. 

So if you pray please please keep my friends in your prayers that the move happens the job comes through and everyone is happy and that it just all works out and they are able to make it here to Georgia. 

Funny that it is turning out this way.. Or not. I had been praying for god to bring me a friend old or new that would understand where I have been where I am going and not judge me. that would love me regardless and would be a friend regardless of my physical condition. Then when this job came open.. I almost did not even call them. But something told me to. Well, I did and now it just feels like God definitely has a hand in it ;) 

                          This is us at my wedding. :)

Falling behind

I am so behind and hopefully after the holidays it will slow down and I can get a better blogging schedule going. I have been so busy and feeling miserable to top it off. I hate to rush Christmas but I am so glad that it is almost here and over and past. It is sad to say that but I just don't feel like it this year. I have not wrapped but a few more presents since last post. I just can't last long. My back won't let me. Hubby is not around  and I have no one else to ask. So I am struggling right now. His busiest time is Christmas (he works for the largest shipping co as a manager). He is even working on Christmas Eve to help with packages which is not his normal job. He is an IT manager so it is definitely out of his normal duties. But, as a manager you do what you have to do to get things done and keep the company running smoothly.

Funny how all of the people at the church and other areas of life that say if you need help to call or if we can ever help you let us know just ignore when you need them or stop asking for fear of being asked to commit and help. So, I give! I don't know that I have it in me to care to befriend anyone anymore.  

Labor is weeks away and I have no one to help with my kids. I fear I will be in labor alone again... :( Well I have one possibility maybe two but I am praying that happens so that I will know my kids are safe and with someone I trust. The one is my Best friend from Childhood that is hopefully moving here soon (will post on that next) and another is a girl here I know that has two kids too. But her schedule is so busy and with two of her own it is hard to expect she will be able to help without much notice.  

I am trying to remember that God is not going to give me more than I can handle.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

It is almost Christmas time

The kids helped me wrap a few small things and after fourty minutes I was in so much pain.

Little nervous as hubby is going out of town so I will be on my own with the kids preparing for the holiday. I'm behind on ordering things. Not going to stress it. The wrapping is the hardest part.

We had fun tonight. The kids are so excited about Christmas

Before I forget my hubby brought me the prettiest flowers tonight 

 And gave me my iPhone early . It was my Christmas present but he wanted me to have it now.:)

Good Night!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Better late than never!!!

We went on vacation in July and had a lot of fun. Now almost 4 weeks in a hotel with 3 kids was harsh and a challenge because I was incredibly sick the entire time and having some bad pain issues. But while we were gone We found out we were expecting #4! It has been exciting and trying all at the same time. I have hard pregnancies every time and this pregnancy is no different. I am dealing with pre-term labor, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, some messed up vitamin/mineral levels and the normal morning sickness for me that lasts the entire time.

I am almost 26 weeks and can I just say that the hardest thing about Christmas this year besides being miserable is seeing and making all of this yummy food I love and not being able to eat any of it!!!!!!!!!!!  I guess on the positive side of this is that I was eating pretty crappy and I have adjusted my diet dramatically to keep off of insulin.  Yes well the doctor said that there was no way I could get the levels ok without insulin. I say POOEY doctor's don't know everything! I have managed to begin eating totally healthy and got my levels great. Ha!  Now, I am missing my junk food and sweets but maybe it is best I learn to do without that processed junk anyway :)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I almost did not feel ok writing...

I have sat down to post so many times but end up walking away to something else. After getting several e-mails and messages from other people dealing with pain it has made me realize that I should probably devote a little time to blogging about my stuff. Someone may be going through the same thing..

I will be honest though, after reading several blogs that basically call people who write/blog to "complain" about their problems whiners, not real bloggers etc. Kind of threw me. I am not blogging for money. I am not even blogging with hopes of becoming well known or anything. I am only blogging to get my stuff out there for me and for some other person that may be at home feeling defeated with their illness. Not that we are whiners but that maybe the internet and blogs is the only way to find others dealing with the same things. I know that I have no one locally that I can say understands me.  I honestly believe my husband is trying but after 10 years and my problems getting progressivly worse, he told me the other day that he does not even fully understand.

So, I am reaching out to find others dealing with the same things.. to form friendships and support one another. Maybe for our spouses to be able to relate and talk about how they deal as well. My husband is thinking about blogging sometime soon too. When he can find a  minute that is. He is busy with work and is in his 2nd yr of law school.

I will try to start posting more even if it is just to say I can't get out of bed today... Why? Because it is my outlet!!! I will be honest on here, so if you can't take it step away. I am a christian but I can not promise I will not curse occasionally. Because let's be honest- life hurts sometimes and no one is perfect.
I can not promise perfect writing or writing without typos. Sometimes it may sound jumbled.. Sorry! That is just me. :)

Thanks to those of you that have taken the time to message me and ask me to start writing. I am thankful that you did that. I was going to just kind of let it go. I mean I really though who wants to read my jumbled thoughts. :) But as someone said, it is a good way to support others and find support.

Thanks for reading!